Last week I participated in Chelsea Owens’ Terrible Poetry Contest. I typically use the comment section on the contest page to post the poem, since I don’t want to subject people to “terrible” if they don’t want it, but I did have have some suggestions (like Violet Lentz) that I post this one – Some of you out there may know exactly where this is coming from ;)
The challenge in last week’s Terrible Poetry Contest was to write a parody of a famous poem. I chose Edgar Allen Poe’s “The Raven”….
Once upon a midday dreary, while I pondered how to write my query
To sell my quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore
While I edited typos and participles hanging, suddenly there came a clanging
As of some one harshly banging, banging at my apartment door
“’Tis the landlord,” I sputtered, “clanking at my apartment door –
I better hide since my cash is no more.”
Ah, I wish I could remember, was it May or December?
And each separate rejected note lied crumpled on the floor
How I dreaded the marrow: – I’d have to pay back the cash I did borrow
And not selling my book caused me sorry – sorrow for “The Art of the Bore”-
For that bit of putrid fiction had that name “The Art of the Bore”-
A stupid name evermore
–a bunch of skipped verses…-
“Please don’t’ let that word be our parting, my pretend friend,” I shrieked, embarrassingly
“Please read my manuscript, it’s not a Plutonium store!
See what my black plume has transcribed, as my soul has spoken!
Don’t leave me lonely and broken – take it with you out my door!
Take this bleak writing of my heart, take my book, no matter how poor!
Quoth the Agent “Nevermore”
Based on Edgar Alan Poe, The Raven
There were a lot of great terrible poems (I know, an oxymoron) this week! You can check them all out here.
Wallace D. Peach designed a graphic for the winner of the contest. Since there were no winners, and everyone was a winner – here it is –
Now doesn’t that make you want to go read more ;)