When the Force is With Me – #Haibun #Tanka

Swan

When the Force is With Me

I feel the eyes upon me and smile.  I know that I will soon see your sign, that you were really there, thinking of me.  Perhaps in a day or two we will pass a few words, just to make concrete what we instinctively knew, that our thoughts had once again crossed, that somehow our spirits had touched in a spark, though we are far apart.  But that is still in the future and will resolve itself in time.  For now I am content to feel the weight of your mind’s eye on my shoulders and smile, hoping you can feel my sunshine in return.

I can feel your fire
And sense your vitality
Burning from afar
Why do I see you, my dear
From the far side of the world?

— —

Written for Colleen’s Poetry challenge.  Each week she gives us two keywords, only we must use synonyms only, not the words themselves.  This week the words were Vitality and Energy.  To me this is an added challenge since the meaning of these two words overlap so much.  Can you tell which words I used for each of these key words?

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19 thoughts on “When the Force is With Me – #Haibun #Tanka

  1. Pingback: Colleen’s #Tanka Tuesday #Poetry Challenge Recap No. 102, “Energy & Vigor”, #SynonymsOnly | Colleen Chesebro ~ The Fairy Whisperer

    1. trentpmcd Post author

      Thanks! I get my ideas and write relatively rapidly. I did this poem the way I usually do for these challenges – I wrote a short list of synonyms for the two words on paper. I played with a line or two before writing one in Word. I think about it and use the line to make a poem, going where ever that line takes me. For this, it took about 10 minutes after I started thinking of random lines.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  2. Colleen Chesebro

    Trent, this is one of the best Haibun/Tanka you’ve written. Sometimes the meanings of the words change even though they are similar depending on how you use the words. The challenge is to find those differences and similarities with synonyms and use them to your advantage, which you’ve done. Excellent!! <3

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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