Undetected by the planet below, the fleet moved into position. Each ship could shoot a beam with the equivalent energy of a 10 gigaton thermonuclear device exploding every second. In a matter of minutes the entire planet would be sterilized.
This planet posed a danger to the entire galaxy. The dominant life form was belligerent. They were very hostile and had constant wars amongst themselves. They hated each other for their differences instead of celebrating their common good. Over all, these violent creatures seemed to be emotional and intellectual idiots, yet they had mastered space travel. Soon they’d start populating their own solar system. From there it would be only a matter of time before they’d reach for the stars. It would be easiest to stop the menace while they were still confined to the cradle of their mother planet.
Bill Jones was strapped down on the bridge of the mother ship, a single specimen of the native race they would keep for testing, a genetic time capsule to represent humanity.
The admiral was just about to give the order to fire when his chief aid approached.
“Admiral, we’ve received new data that you need to observe. This may change everything.”
The admiral looked at the primitive screen and frowned with six of his mouths while the other two curled in a quizzical grimace.
“So? This is Facebook. It is full of just the types of stupidity, hatred and division we want to stomp out.”
“No, Your Nebula-ness, look at this.”
The video played across the screen. Slowly, one by one, the admiral’s mouths turned to smiles.
“AAhhhhhh, that’s so cute! You’re right,” he-she-it-they said, “this changes everything. Plot a course back to headquarters. The destruction of Earth is called off. Beam the captive back to the planet.”
“I hate Facebook,” Carla said. “Isn’t there something more interesting than what I had for breakfast, stupid political memes and cute cat videos?”
Bill Jones shook his head. “No, no, you don’t understand,” he said. “Keep posting the cute cat videos. It’s all that keeps us from certain destruction.”
Carla looked at him funny, but Bill knew. He posted a new cat video to Facebook every day, for the safety of the planet.